Panic!

 

                                                                 Sunday

Dear Diary,

I feel sick! School starts tomorrow. My heart is racing and my stomach is flipping over and over. Every time I think of walking into the classroom, my chest feels tight. I don’t want to go. I can’t do it!
I try to tell myself it will be different this time. It’s a new year, a new start for everyone. People and friendships change over the summer holidays don’t they? It may not be like before. School could be an escape from the suffocating atmosphere at home. A sanctuary.
Who am I kidding? It will be like jumping into another layer of Dante’s hell.
After all, JT, with her long perfect hair that flicks in unison with the flash of her perfect smile, will still be there. Like a puppeteer, she will still pull her posse’s strings, reminding them of my failings and the need to punish me for them. Juliet Turner – Little Miss Perfect.
Perfect hair, perfect smile, clothes, family and grades. Everyone happily accepts this. I don’t get it. How can the snubs, jibes, pushes and snide, sneaky put-downs she makes to those on her radar be ignored. Why does everyone long to be her friend and in her group?
I don’t want to be her friend. I just want to be left alone.
I wish I had a fairy godmother to wave a magic wand to cast a spell to make me confident, happy and carefree so she ignores me but I know when I wake up in the morning, I will still be me! My hair will will be crappy, my freckles will still show and when she calls me a freak, after the last couple of weeks, I will have to agree.

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